Summer Camp
by cheerfulladybug
Summary: Edward's banished to Camp Kenyan as a punishment from his parents. Bella's just trying to find relief from her crappy life. What happens when they meet at Camp Kenyan? Author's Note: Send me a PM if you would like to take over this story!
1. Welcome To Hell When Hell Has Rules

_Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or the Twilight franchise._

_A/N: Hi guys! I've been reading a lot of AH Twilight stories, but I have yet to see one with a real summer camp theme. So, I decided to write one! I have no plans to do anything more with A New Family Member. I think in its entirety it was merely to answer what ifs and make for a nice fluff piece. I planned for something more angsty, with the Volturi involved, but then I thought it was fine just as it is. So, there probably won't be a sequel, but you can still vote for one if you want it on my profile. I have a really busy summer, including going to Klamath Falls and summer camp! *Squee!* I'll probably spend more time writing in notebooks than the computer this summer, but I'll try to type and get you updates! I already have like 6 very, very long chapters already in my notebook for this story. Hugs to Brookie for looking at it and encouraging me to edit and post it! Love ya! By the way, have you read her story, Go On And Cry? She's revamping (no vampires, just making it more awesome) it. It's also an AH. Did you guys read my last AN on ANFM? Well, the situation with one of my best friends is going better. He'll (the love interest) be okay. But she told me I couldn't turn it into a fanfic. So sorry to disappoint you, but the wishes and welfare of my friends comes first. Okay, that wraps up my very first long and rambling AN. I think this is the longest AN I've ever had._

Summer Camp by cheerfulladybug

Song: Gives You Hell by The All American Rejects

Chapter 1: Day One In Hell. And Hell Has Rules.

EPOV

Day one in hell. I'm not kidding. Camp Kenyan made me wanna upchuck the pizza I had for lunch. Totally not my kind of place to be. The buildings were a cheery, sunshine yellow that made me want to spray paint them black. They had white picket fences and neat flower beds with violently colored flowers. It was like walking into a rainbow shop on the set of one of those 50's movies. You know, the kind where everything is perfect and happy in Townsville. I was only here to serve my exile sentence prescribed by my parents.

"Thanks, mom," I grumbled, watching her drive away in MY car. I clutched my suitcase angrily. That was one part of my completely retarded sentence. The 'rents took away my car so I couldn't go anywhere without their supervision. The major part of my sentence was that I had to serve at this hippy-dippy, sunshine and unicorns, rainbows and cheeriness, lame-ass camp, as a counselor. For the WHOLE FREAKING SUMMER! Yeah, I know, the whole experience of going to camp is supposed to be all magical and awesome, but for a whole freaking summer? Hell no!

I picked up my suitcase, and tossed it in the large pile outside a cabin marked 'Chief's Cabin.' I opened the door, and walked in on a bunch of teenagers like me and a handful of adults sitting in a circle. A tall guy with a potbelly stood up from his chair. His name tag read, Little Joe. The head honcho. I guess Little Joe isn't quite so little. Everyone's eyes were on me. I must be late.

"Ah! Mr. Cullen! So glad you could join us! Please sit down," he enthused, motioning for me to sit in the only empty seat next to a burly guy that looked like a professional wrestler. He grinned at me, and it sent a little shock of fear through my body. I still sat down, though, because Cullen men are not wimps. As I turned my eyes to the circle, I could see that most of the girls had their eyes on me. _Oh well, it'll be_ _like normal_, I thought.

Seeing that I was seated, Little Joe spoke up. "Seeing as Mr. Cullen was so late, he didn't get to hear the rules. Can anyone tell him what they were?"

Immediately, hands of girls shot up. There were only a few whose hands stayed down, and they were three high school girls and all of the adult females.

Little Joe chuckled at their enthusiasm. "Alright… Ms. Stanley? What is rule number one?"

A short brunette with curly hair and too much makeup on put down her hand and answered. "No illegal substances, drugs or tobacco are allowed on campus. No weapons either," she answered, looking at me and trying to look sexy. It wasn't working.

"Thank you, Ms. Stanley… Ms. Mallory, what is rule number two?" Little Joe said.

"No electronics. No cell phones, iPods, Mp3s, CD players, game systems, computers or anything that uses batteries or is plugged in. But we still get to have hair dryers, curling/straightening irons, and other electronic beauty products," said a silvery blond with fish lips. She pouted when she said cell phones, and it made her lips look worse.

"Thank you, Lauren… Now, Miss Swan, can you tell us rule number three, please?"

A brunette looked up, blushing. She was one of the girls that didn't put her hand up. She was beautiful… she had chocolate brown eyes and long, mahogany hair. Her skin was pale, but it had the look of iridescence. She glowed, like a moon goddess of some forgotten pagan civilization. Her skin looked oh so soft, and I wanted to see if it felt as soft as it looked. Her skin was tinged a soft rose color from her blush, and her eyes wouldn't meet mine as she talked. I forgot my current bitter mood, mesmerized by her.

"Rule number three is no purple," she said, her blush turning a furious shade of red.

I was very puzzled. Was this camp against a simple color? Surely not, because Little Joe had on a purple baseball cap.

He looked at me, and saw my puzzled face. "Ms. Swan? Would you care to elaborate?"

"Purple is the codename for sexual activities," she whispered so quietly I could barely hear her. Her blush was almost fire engine red when she said this.

The pro wrestler beside me snickered. Jerk.

I glared at him a bit.

That caused him to burst out guffawing.

"Mr. McCartey? Is there something you'd like to share?" asked Little Joe sharply.

The wrestler guy stopped laughing. "No sir," he said seriously, but I could still see the twinkle of a laugh in his eye.

"Alright, then. Let's continue," he said. "Ms. Denali. What is the last rule?"

"Curfew needs to be followed on the weekends when we're allowed to leave camp," she said. I don't even know what she looked like, because I was so wrapped up in watching Ms. Swan.

"Thank you, very much, ladies. I'll introduce myself once more, and then hand the reins over to Samoa. I'm Joe Quell, but you need to call me little Joe, alrighty?" he said. Everyone agreed, and he sat, while an average height woman with red hair and pale skin stood up.

"Alright! Time for your camp names. Chose carefully, because these will be the names you'll be called the whole summer. They will be the only names you are called by, and it is your responsibility to answer to them and not your real names. The campers will also call you by these names, so nothing inappropriate," she commanded, and glared right at the pro wrestler guy.

_Oh shit… I have no idea!_ I thought.

A/N: So, was it everything you ever dreamed of? Didja enjoy Pissedoffward? Don't worry. He has a good explanation for being so pissed and bitter. And are you going to make my day and review this new awesome piece of crappy fan girl literature?

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	2. Camp Names

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or the Twilight franchise. I do, however, own a copy of Twilight and New Moon, on paperback.

Summer Camp by cheerfulladybug

Song: Cowboy Casanova by Carrie Underwood

Chapter 2: Camp Names

BPOV

Camp Kenyan was a breath of fresh air in the smelly, puke inducing, crappy air of reality. I thanked any powers above that this opportunity came to me. This summer was to cleanse my soul, and ignore the truth that stared me in the face.

I hated that reality, the one that said my parents divorced when I was three, passing me around like I was an ugly sweater at Christmas that was always re-gifted. I finally put my foot down at 8, insisting on living with my mother, Renee, in Phoenix, Arizona. My father, Charlie, was puzzled as to why I didn't like his beloved home of Los Angeles, California. The truth was that there was not enough open space in his precious city. Sure, it was grand to see celebrities shopping, but the hustle and bustle of the crime-filled city was too much for me. I preferred to live on my eccentric mother's ranch in the outskirts of Phoenix. It was the perfect place to find a shady spot under a rare tree to read a book or to write. And then she decided that she needed to get a new husband. I scared off the first few guys, but then Phil came, and he was such a good man, I let him stay. They got married when I was 10.

I thought reality couldn't be so bad anymore, but I was wrong. Phil and Renee were on tour with Phil's pro baseball team, ready to go and win the World Series, when an opposing player slipped in their room at night and slit their throats. The police didn't even know why the player did what he did, but the perp admitted that he did it. I found this out the day before my 15th birthday. Renee and Phil had left the ranch to me, but as I was a minor, I couldn't legally live there on my own. So Charlie arranged to have a few of my mom and step dad's trusted employees take care of it until I turned 18. This included Charlotte, my beloved nanny; Raul, the stable manager; and Vera, the greatest chef Renee ever employed.

So here I was at Camp Kenyan, on an essentially mental health vacation. Charlie wasn't much fun to live with, anyways. He threw himself into the police work that was his life, family, and passion, especially after mom's death. I suspected that he always had loved her; they got a divorce because Renee was too spirited and wild for my father to handle. I loved my hippie mom so much.

My best friend, Alice Brandon, of the Brandon tycoons who owned all of the fashion industry in L.A., was coming with me. So was my cousin Emmett McCarty, the highest ranked in the nation for high school football. Alice was an insane person, but, hey, that's why I loved her so much. Emmett was a teddy bear, the protective older brother I never had. Me, I was just clumsy Isabella Marie Swan, with a poor po-po dad and a rich/dead/hippie/rancher mom and a dead pro baseball player for a stepfather. Alice said I could write stories to entice a lion away from attacking, but I wasn't Scherzerdade or anything. I just liked to write.

We, meaning a bunch of teens my age and some college age students were sitting in a large circle listening to the rules being dictated by the camp director, Little Joe, when the most gorgeous guy I had even seen walked into the room. I tried not to stare, peeking out through my curtain of brown hair. All of the girls were gaping at him, with the excuse of Alice, me, and a statuesque blond. He had tousled bronze colored hair that made him look like he just stepped out of a wind tunnel, and piercing emerald eyes as hard as the rock they mimicked. He was fairly muscular, but wasn't bulky like Em. The second I saw him, I thought, _Here comes trouble._ He had a pissed-off look, the one that said, _I will kick your ass if_ _you come near me_. Little Joe motioned for him to sit down next to Em and a boy that looked like the male counterpart of the Swiss Miss girl. I saw a faint look of utter fear flicker across his face at the sight of Emmett. I smiled smugly. He wouldn't bother me if I stuck close to Em.

All of the high school girls raised their hands, except for me, Alice, and the blond again. Little Joe spoke up. "Seeing as Mr. Cullen was so late, he didn't get to hear the rules. Can anyone tell him what they were?" All of the high school girls raised their hands, except for me, Alice, and the blond again. Little Joe chuckled at their enthusiasm. "Alright… Ms. Stanley? What is rule number one?"

A short brunette with curly hair and too much makeup on put down her hand and answered. "No illegal substances, drugs or tobacco are allowed on campus. No weapons either," she answered.

"Thank you, Ms. Stanley… Ms. Mallory, what is rule number two?" Little Joe said.

"No electronics. No cell phones, iPods, Mp3s, CD players, game systems, computers or anything that uses batteries or is plugged in. But we still get to have hair dryers, curling/straightening irons, and other electronic beauty products," said a silvery blond with fish lips. She pouted when she said cell phones, and it made her lips look worse.

"Thank you, Lauren… Now, Miss Swan, can you tell us rule number three, please?"

I blushed, embarrassed that out of all the rules, I had to do this one. "Rule number three is no purple," I said, my blush turning a furious shade of red.

"Ms. Swan? Would you care to elaborate?" Little Joe asked, making my torture even worse and more embarrassing, I couldn't look up. Not at this gorgeous guy who was embarrassing me by my having to repeat the most humiliating rule ever to him. Gah, stupid blush!

"Purple is the codename for sexual activities," I whispered so quietly I could barely hear it. Oh, I was so humiliated! I bet that my blush was fire engine red by now.

Emmett snickered at my unfortunate demise. Then something caused him to burst out laughing. My face turned redder, knowing her was probably laughing at my bright red face.

"Mr. McCarty? Is there anything you'd like to share?" Little Joe barked.

"No, sir," he said seriously, but I knew my cousin well enough to know that he was still laughing on the inside. He probably had that tell-tale twinkle in his eye that told he wasn't entirely serious.

"Alright then. Let's continue," Little Joe said. "Ms. Denali. What is the last rule?"

"Curfew needs to be followed on the weekends when we're allowed to leave camp," a strawberry blonde with grey eyes said.

"Thank you, very much, ladies. I'll introduce myself once more, and then hand the reins over to Samoa. I'm Joe Quell, but you need to call me Little Joe, alrighty?" he said. Everyone agreed, and he sat, while an average height woman with red hair and pale skin stood up.

"Alright! Time for your camp names! Chose carefully, because these will be the names you'll be called the whole summer. They will be the only names you are called by, and it is your responsibility to answer to them and not your real names. The campers will also call you by these names, so nothing inappropriate," she commanded, and glared right at Emmett.

I peeked up through my hair, forgetting the embarrassing moments that occurred just before. I smiled. Alice and I had picked our names before we came. Hers was going to be Tink, as in Tinkerbell from Peter Pan, and mine was going to be Scribe. Scribes were the only people that knew how to write, in the ancient times, so that's what Alice dubbed me.

I looked over at Mr. Adonis (you know, the really gorgeous guy I just embarrassed myself in front of) and his face looked like he was saying oh shit mentally. I grinned, and picked up my head, embarrassment forgotten momentarily.

"We're going to go around the circle and announce our names and then say our camp names. Be prepared, and please speak clearly," said Samoa. "My camp name is Samoa, but my real name is Nancy Quell," she then pointed to a shy-looking Asian girl.

"My name is Angela Weber, but this summer I'd like to be called Oz," she said.

It went next to the girl with silvery blond hair and fish lips. She flipped her hair and said, "My name is Lauren Mallory, and my name will be Spindle."

Then there was Dino, Wudge, Cadet, Ore, Rigger, Kanga, Spackle, Na$h, and Cheetoh.

"My name is Jessica Stanley. I want my name to be Hershey," said a short girl with curly hair. She smiled charmingly at the boy next to her, who, incidentally, was Swiss Miss Boy.

"My name is Mike Newton. Here, my name should be Cola," he said, and flashed a smile at me. Jessica glared. _Wow, looks like someone's a bit possessive_, I thought. She didn't need to worry about me stealing her boyfriend. I so do not need one while I'm trying to mend my mentality.

The vague chatter and murmurings stopped for Mr. Adonis' turn.

"My name is Edward Cullen. Here, I'll be Keys." He turned and looked straight at me. Was that look _signifigant_? I blushed yet again, and hid my face under my hair. Again. I really would not be able to take it if this Edward was going to make me look like I had a sunburn ALL summer! Sighing, and internally cringing, I looked at my cousin for his turn. I just hoped that he wouldn't embarrass the family name_ too_ badly.

"My name is Emmett McCartey, and my name shall be Bear!" he shouted, jumping up and showing off his enormous muscles.

Alice elbowed me in the ribs. "Look at all those girls," she said, motioning to all of the female population except us and Oz. "They look like a bunch of dogs drooling at a pile of bacon!"

I giggled, causing Mr. Adonis to look my way. Alice elbowed me, and he frowned. She giggled and said "Looks like you've got an admirier, Ms. Swan!"

I shushed her, and we returned our eyes to the circle, seeing the last of Em's gun show.

"That is enough, Mr. McCartey," snapped Little Joe. "Mr. Whitlock? Would you like to continue?"

"Yessir," said a honey blond male with a southern accent.

Alice's breath caught in her throat. Now it was my turn to elbow her.

"Breathe, AliCat!" I giggled into her ear. Her expression was one reminecscent of a fish out of water. She gathered herself, but stilled gazed at the guy with adoration.

"My name is Jasper Whitlock, but I'd prefer to be called General 'round here," he said. Alice sighed, and I swear she was going to swoon when he winked directly at her.

Next was a boy named Ben Cheney, and he elected to have his name be Scarecrow.

"How much you wanna bet that Oz and Scarecrow will end up together this summer?" whispered Alice.

I groaned.

"Well, what?" she asked, while a girl named Leah Clearwater turned her name to Quartz.

"Don't you _DARE_ think of playing matchmaker for _ME_, Mary Alice Brandon. I know your tricks!" I hissed.

"Fine…" she said exasperated. "But don't deny me the pleasure of pairing others with _THEIR_ soulmates."

The time passed quickly. Seth Clearwater was named Nemo, and then it was my turn.

Most of the guys turned to me with expectant looks on their faces.

"My name is Bella Swan," I said quietly. "I'd like for my name to be Scribe."

Alice quickly jumped up from her seat, being her usual mile-a-minute self. "My name is Mary Alice Brandon, but most people just call me Alice. For my stay here at Camp Kenyan, I hereby name myself Tink, after Tinkerbell in the Peter Pan movies. My best friend Bella Swan, whom you just met, has described me as an insane fashion-obsessed shopping fairy on speed, caffeine, and heroin," she chattered.

"It's true! Keep her away from the coffee and credit cards!" Emmett stage whispered.

Everyone roared with laughter, and Em, Alice, and I joined in.

"Ok, ok, ok. Enough. Time to move on," said Little Joe, wiping tears from his eyes.

"My name's Jacob Black, and here I should be called Wolf," a tan, dark haired guy said. He was the description of tall, dark, and handsome, but I could already tell he was a player. He winked at me, and I just rolled my eyes in response.

Then it was the statuesque blonde's turn. "My name is Rosalie Hale, and my name will be M3," she said, causing all of the males in the room jaws' to drop.

I looked at Emmett. His facial expression looked like Roger Rabbit seeing Jessica Rabbit for the first time. Alice and I giggled.

"Thank you, you guys! Now, if you'd please wait, we'll give you your cabin assignments and you can move into your cabins. You are not allowed to move, but we will move you if there are big problems with your fellow counselours. And as of right now, the word counselour or calling each other your real names will not be permitted. You will be called cabin leaders, and the punishment for saying counselour or someone's real name will be 30 seconds of the plank! _No_ exceptions," said Samoa, glaring at all of us girls.

"You will all probably have to do the plank sometime this summer, so get used to the idea. And if you do not finish all of your owed planks from the week, you will not be allowed to leave for the weekend. It starts now," she said, and started passing out schedules.

Alice and I squealed when we found out that we were rooming together.

"Omigosh, Bella!" she squealed.

"I know right? This is going to be so much fun, Alice!" I responded

Just then Mr. Adonis walked by. "Planks, both of you," he said, smirking, and timed me and Alice for 30 seconds.

_Another reason to hate him_, I thought.

_**A/N: So, how did you like it? Didja enjoy the whole plank thing? That's actually a real thing at this one summer camp I go to. The campers have to do it too. I remember of my fellow campers had to do approximately 15+, because our cabin leader was a family friend of hers. I only had to do three. This chapter was 2,401 words, and that was just the story part! I'm so proud of myself! **_

_**On a more serious note, I have moved from Team Twilight to Team Harry Potter, but no fears, I'll still write Twilight fanfictions, because I think they're fun. My reason for defecting: I realized I liked the Twi-fics more than the actual books, and that I liked the actual Harry Potter books rather than the fanfictions. I submit that as my reason for being Team HP now. Have you seen A Very Potter Musical on YouTube**____**? It's "freakin' awesome"! You must watch it, even if you're a rabid Twilight fan. The music is fantastic, the actors are hilarious, and it's just so cool! And now there's a sequel! (Yes, Brooke, they posted it on YouTube already! Squeeeeeeeeeee!)**_

_**And speaking of my fantabulous, awesome, super-duper best friend, Natalieblack2, we have created a new profile for our new collaboration, and for any other future collaborations we may have.**_

_**For Future reference:**_

_**Bella-Scribe**_

_**Edward-Keys**_

_**Alice-Tink**_

_**Jasper-General**_

_**Rosalie- M3 (You know, her car?)**_

_**Emmett-Bear**_

_**Angela-Oz**_

_**Ben-Scarecrow**_

_**Jessica-Hershey**_

_**Mike-Cola**_

_**Leah-Quartz**_

_**Jacob-Wolf**_

_**Seth-Nemo**_

_**Lauren-Spindle**_

_**Eric-Wudge**_

_**Carmen-Cadet**_

_**Eleazar-Ore**_

_**Irina-Rigger **_

_**Jane-Kanga **_

_**Felix-Spackle**_

_**Riley- Nash**_

_**Tanya-Cheeto**_

_**Alec- Roo**_

_**I think that's it. The last 8 are the college-age people, and they're also the cabin leader advisors**_

_**G'wan. Make my day.**_


	3. What's Up?

Hey guys! Long time, no write!

Well, I hope you all have been able to stick with me and not forget this story! At first I thought that I would have to abandon it, but I think that I'm actually going to re-vamp (no pun intended) it and keep on going! I have a chapter 3 of Summer Camp in the wraps right now.

When I first started this fic, I was still in middle school, and my writing style was immature. Over the past couple of years, my voice and writing quality has matured, making it easier for me to produce something good.

So, I'm pretty excited to start re-working Summer Camp this summer and actually give you guys a good, whole length fic!

Whoohoo!

~cheerfulladybug

You can follow me on tumblr at .com for all the latest info, and soon I will have an email and twitter set up just for the purpose of my fanfiction writing


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